Everything from health and money to social life and personal beliefs, these are the habits I broke up with during my favorite decade (so far!).

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I’m 37 years old as I write this and I think it’s worth noting that, so far, my thirties are my favorite decade I’ve lived in.

I actually have money, can handle responsibility, I have confidence, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been, and somehow all of that combined has just made life…good! If you’re in your forties, I’m guessing you’re reading this and thinking, “Girl, just WAIT! It gets even better!”

Awhile ago there was this stigma around being thirty like our lives were over. You hit thirty and it all goes downhill. Sure, we move differently (maybe a little slower) and don’t bounce back as easily from getting less than 8 hours of sleep or a day at an amusement park (no more roller coasters for me ever again, thanks).

But I really feel like hitting my thirties is when I hit my stride in life. And not necessarily because of things I started doing (although, those too), but because of things I stopped doing.

The following are habits I broke up with in my thirties.

My grandma says, “nothing good happens after midnight,” and she’s absolutely right. Just once I’d like to hear a news story of something good that happens after midnight instead of robberies, accidents, assault, drunk driving, or violent crimes. Ain’t no one adopting puppies at 1am.

Personally, if I’m up past midnight I am a cranky mess the next morning and no amount of mushroom coffee or pre-workout is going to fix it. There’s no such thing as “sleeping in” for me anymore, and not just because I’m a mom, but because my body clock will wake me up anyway.

10pm. That’s my lane.

I don’t remember actively choosing to drink water before the age of 27 except to nurse a hangover. In fact, I think I drank everything but water in my twenties, until I figured out that water actually made me feel and function much better than just Diet Coke and coffee.

In my thirties, I don’t leave the house without it. And if I don’t hit my water goal of half my total body weight in ounces each day, I feel hungover the next day from LACK of water. Gone are the days when I’m not hydrated af. In fact, I’m usually adding things to my water to make me MORE hydrated (electrolytes are a game changer).

Comfort is key for me these days. I’m not wearing anything that makes me uncomfortable including but not limited to thong underwear, crop tops, anything lace, bustiers, bras with underwire, skinny jeans, and turtlenecks. I’ve also never tried formal shapewear but I’m willing to bet that it would also make the list.

I don’t know who decided that athleisure was actually brilliant to sell and market to moms on the go, but bless them. And whoever added pockets to leggings? You’re golden.

Let’s just say it isn’t as cute and fun in your thirties to stumble around a bar taking blurry selfies with random people and swearing you’ll keep in touch after tonight. Don’t even get me started on how long it takes to actually recover from a hangover (hint: days, not just hours).

There is a time a place for throwing a few back, like celebrations or vacations, but even once I hit tipsy right around three drinks, I’m good for the night. Also, no more shots. I want to vom just thinking about it.

It took me a long time to realize that I spent YEARS making other people comfortable…at the expense of my own comfort. Said otherwise, I was actively bending over backwards to make sure other people were okay by putting their feelings first, comforting their beliefs, or nurturing their dreams and desires, even when it robbed me of mine.

This is a steep price to pay because for a long time it cost me my own peace, sanity, and comfort. I broke up with this pattern permanently a number of years ago, shortly after I found out I was pregnant at the age of thirty-three.

Not only do I not want my daughter to people-please her way through life at the expense of her happiness, but I also want her to be a strong woman as soon as she can be. And that starts with setting the example.

This woman protects her peace with boundaries, does not get hung up on worrying if she’s “too much,” doesn’t waste time trying to fit in with the wrong people because she knows she’ll find her people (they’re out there, I promise), and loves herself. Even when she doesn’t like herself, at the end of every day she loves herself.

For the first time, my comfort matters. Now, I’m not out here being mean or rude, stirring the pot, or not caring about anyone else’s feelings. But I am saying “no” when I want to say “no.” I am not tiptoeing around the people who are mean or rude to avoid making them upset (Newsflash: they’ll always find something to be upset about anyway, so it’s an effort made in vain). If something or someone is unnecessarily stressing me out or bringing me excess drama, it’s goodbye. If someone is uncomfortable with me, or I don’t live up to their expectations, we can part ways.

I still have to practice this everyday, because it’s hard to unlearn old habits. But I am finally comfortable and at peace with myself and my decisions and I protect this fiercely.

I will even take this a step further and say that I’m not sleeping over at your house either, even if you have a guest room. Maybe I’m weird, but I have seen so many people overstay their welcome that it literally makes me cringe and wonder how they cannot know or sense that it’s time for them to leave. Read. The. Room.

This is different if we’re on vacation and sharing a place to stay like an AirB&B or a condo or something. There’s an expiration date on that and we are all kind of temporarily making things work. You aren’t as comfortable in a place you’re staying as you are in your own home and people generally are on their best behavior.

If you’re inviting me or me and my family over for a night or weekend, we will respectfully be leaving your home and going back to our own home or checking into a hotel nearby.

At 37 years old, I need to sleep in a bed so I don’t wake up feeling like I was in a car accident. I also would never want to overstay my welcome in someone’s home or disrupt your patterns or habits. Even worse, there are some things I don’t want to ever know about people, and staying with others unfortunately comes with those consequences. I say this lightheartedly with an air of humor, but I’m also so serious.

This is why me and my family will not be staying with you. Thanks, but I know there’s a line and I never even want to come close to it.

After putting myself in an absolute shit storm with credit cards in my twenties (and again briefly in my early thirties), I can say with absolute certainty that using credit cards is one of the WORST things you can be doing in your life.

When I was in my twenties, interest rates were lower than what they are now (30% interest on some of them which is literal robbery), and it still took me years (like 5+ years) to pull myself out of it financially. Tons of wasted money went to credit card companies and even more on things I really didn’t need, or just really didn’t need to put on a credit card.

Do not fall victim to thinking that using credit cards makes you an official adult. No. This is a trick invented by the credit card companies. The commercials make it seem super cool to have one. Points, cash back, travel, expensive dinners, all the luxuries of life. Until you get the statement and can’t figure out how to pay it back without paying way too much extra in interest.

If you currently use credit cards, beware and be responsible with them. Pay off your balance every month. Do not buy things above your means that you cannot afford.

If you’re currently in your own shit storm with them, I highly recommend reaching out to a financial specialist that can help you figure out how to pull yourself out of it quickly and in a smart way. There is no shame in asking for help.

Cool adults aren’t putting everything on plastic. Cool adults are saving cash. Investing. Budgeting. They may not sound like sexy words, but trust me…they’re way sexier than debt, bankruptcy, or being broke.

I wholeheartedly love who I am today. I’m proud of her. She’s been through a lot in a short number of years, and she’s strong and confident. I think she’s cool to hang out with, kind of funny, and wears cute jewelry. She likes to have fun and laughs every single day because it makes her feel good. I like her smile.

Above all, the best thing I can say for my thirties is that I learned to love who I am. And the parts that I didn’t love, I changed so I would.

If there’s one habit you should break up with immediately, it’s not loving yourself.

Loving yourself where you are today is hard. Doing the work to love yourself is hard. But it’s so worth it. I look back at the way I used to be, decisions I made, or beliefs I had previously, and I cringe. We all do that. Same as when we think about how we wore our hair in the 90’s (sorry for that reminder).

But self improvement is so rewarding. Working on yourself to be who you want to be is how you win at life, if you ask me.

There are too many people out there faking it or trying to be people they don’t actually want to be in the name of trying to find happiness. But here’s what I’ve learned. Happiness comes when you give yourself permission to be who you want to be unapologetically.

You will actually never regret being who you want to be. You have so many authentic gifts that this world needs and if you don’t believe that, then you definitely have some work to do.

If you don’t know where to start, try making a list of the things you do like about yourself and the things you don’t like about yourself. Once you review the list of things you don’t like, choose one thing off of the list and commit to working on turning it into something you do like about yourself.

Then work on the next thing. And the next. Until you have more things in the column of things you love about yourself than the things you don’t love and watch how your life shifts in a meaningful and positive way. Don’t believe me? Try it and prove me wrong.

(Spoiler alert: You can’t prove me wrong).

Until next time,