From daily movement to nutrition to a full night of sleep, here’s how I take the time to do it all so I can show up as the best version of myself.

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If you’re a mom, let’s just get this out of the way right now: Taking care of ourselves is hard.

Forget anything extra like getting your nails done or getting a massage or finishing an entire book, I’m talking about basic things like eating a full meal each day, moving your body, and sleeping for longer than 4 hour blocks in a night.

This is not a fluffy post about how we all have the same 24 hours in a day and it’s our choice how to spend it, and if you aren’t making yourself a priority by eating four healthy mini-meals or getting in a workout or sleeping for 8+ hours each night, then you’re doing it wrong. This is not that at all.

Let’s just talk about that phrase for a minute–“we all have the same 24 hours in a day.” I’m just going to come right out say it. This expression is a crockpot full of steaming shit. This phrase makes me physically cringe whenever I see it in some influencer’s post or hear someone actually say it out loud, usually on a spin bike dripping sweat. And every time I think the same thing: F off.

While we do all have 24 hours in a day, they are not the same. Not even close. If you have any type of child you are taking care of, your 24 hours look vastly differently than someone who has no children to care for.

As a mom, I have little to no free time unless I take it away from something else. Either someone is not getting bathed, going to gymnastics or swim, dinner is not getting made, groceries are not getting picked up, the toy is not getting fixed, I lose time with my husband or my kid, I lose sleep, or have to cancel appointments and social gatherings.

Maybe it sounds dramatic, but this is actually how I used to feel when I decided to try and take care of myself. “Where am I going to rob time from?” is the actual thought that goes through my brain.

My point in sharing this is that I know how hard it is to do anything for just yourself. It took me a long time and a lot of practice to actually be able to prioritize my own health and wellness. I’m still learning how!

But I wanted to share a few ideas that might help you feel like a human being again instead of a caffeine driven shell of a human that may or may not have eaten a meal or showered today (no judgement here, btw) and has no idea why her kiddo is wearing two different shoes that are also both for the left foot or how long she’s been doing this without me noticing (example based on a true story).

This one is probably going to make you consider quitting reading because I’m coming in hot and you probably feel attacked. But please don’t stop reading just yet, I promise I have a point and it’s not to tick you off 🙂

When I say that you need to stop trying to do it alone, I simply mean that you will very likely have kiddos in tow, your partner around, the dog watching, maybe even your neighbors wondering what you’re up to. If you are a mom, you rarely have time alone. Not even to use the bathroom in most cases.

So you need to let go of the idea that in order to take care of yourself, you have to do it when you are alone. You will probably have an audience and–this is the most important part– THAT’S OKAY.

Breathe out.

It’s okay if you can’t find time to take care of yourself alone. Would it be nice? Hell yeah it would. Is it realistic? Maybe. But we can’t get hung up on this detail. Because that’s all it is, just a small detail. And to some of you, it’s an excuse not to take care of yourself.

(Okay, now you can feel attacked. But I say it with all the love in the world. Keep reading sweet friend).

Maybe no one has ever told you that it’s okay for your kids to see you do a workout. Or eat a meal. Or rest.

And if that’s true, pretend we’re sitting at my kitchen table or your favorite coffee shop and we are having this conversation, coffee in hand, with me sitting across from you saying these exact words. It’s okay for your kids to see you do a workout. And eat a meal sitting down. And rest. And take a break. And be human.

I gave myself permission to take care of myself loudly and in front of my kid a long time ago. And now I’m urging you to do the same.

For example, this is how I began making space and time to get in a daily workout. Instead of trying to do it before my toddler woke up, I took the pressure off of having to do it alone. I got up when I felt ready and rested, or she woke up (whichever came first) and then hit a workout at home while she played or watched a quick show or ate breakfast.

I wasn’t alone, but I was getting in focused, daily movement, and it has made me a much better human being. More energized, less tired, sick less often, fewer emotional seesaws, more level headed and focused, way more patience, and more in touch with my body.

And I got there not by doing it alone with no one else around to see, but by doing it with my daughter there. Or her and my husband and our cats, as the audience (and often my own personal cheer squad). I found success taking care of myself loudly and usually unapologetically.

I think it’s worth considering that if your kids actually see you taking care of yourself, that they will take care of themselves too. You would be surprised how young they pick up on habits and lifestyle.

Consider also that if your kids see you not taking care of yourself, they probably think that’s standard operating procedure. Are you prepared to explain why they have to go outside and run and play but they never see you moving your body? Or that they have to drink water but they don’t see you drinking it? Habits are caught, not taught. And, unfortunately, it works both ways.

Let’s talk about when taking care of yourself needs to happen. The actual answer? Every day. The practical answer? When you schedule it. Combine the two for a no-fail system.

Remember that I’m talking about basics here: moving your body, eating well, and getting restful sleep. My golden trifecta.

If you’re still reading and you just rolled your eyes because that feels impossible, I get it. But don’t write me off just yet.

I was right there with you when I first heard that these three are what’s necessary to thrive. It felt absolutely impossible. Like having to climb a huge mountain without any experience climbing a mountain.

It wasn’t just all three of them combined. Any ONE of them felt impossible to me once upon a time.

But I can confidently tell you that finding a way to practice these three things gave me my life back, and it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Truth be told, most things that feel hard feel harder from our brains trying to protect us.

Our survival part of the brain (the amygdala, which prepares your body to react appropriately to threats or harm) doesn’t know the difference between feeling stressed trying to eat well, move our bodies, and get good sleep versus being chased by a lion. Because the anxiety and fear feels the same in both scenarios.

Here’s what I suggest: Schedule your workouts. Aim for 3-5 days a week for 30 minutes a day if you’re just starting. Get out your calendar/planner and put it in as “busy.” You will not be available for 30 minutes per day (or however long you decide you will move your body).

Hint: it does NOT have to be at 5am if you know this will not work for you. Maybe you’re better at 8am. Or 8pm. There is no rule on when you need to move your body. Most trainers will tell you all that matters is that you’re moving and doing it daily.

Then, you’ll schedule your lunch hour (or half hour). You will sit down at the time you scheduled and eat your lunch. Do this for breakfast and dinner if you need to also. Set alarms if you need reminders.

Then, schedule your bedtime. Reverse engineer what time you need to get up and backtrack 8.5 hours. I’m suggesting an extra 30 minutes on top of 8 hours for you to unwind, set yourself up for the next day (more on that next), and truly mellow out before closing your eyes for the night. If you need an hour, backtrack 9 hours so you can start getting yourself ready for bed on time.

Just like a meeting or appointment, you need to stay committed to this time that you are blocking off. Which is arguably the hardest part. Don’t use it to catch up on Love Island or start doom scrolling.

So how do you make sure that you stick to your scheduled time? I’m so glad you asked.

You know the expression “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail?” I’m not going to say it because it’s such a cliche, but…

You need a plan. Think of it as setting future-you up for success. Future-you will thank you for having things ready so that you aren’t wasting time. Having a plan will prevent you from throwing in the towel the third day into this because you’re overwhelmed and shutting down.

When I say you need to plan ahead, I’m not talking about a ton of extra work or completely rearranging your life. Here are some of the ways I plan ahead to set myself up for success, and most of them are pretty small.

• Set my workout clothes out the night before in the space where I workout (my living room).
• My water bottle is FULL when I go to bed so I can start drinking water first thing in the morning.
• I do a morning gratitude practice, so I set out my notebook and a pen the night before. If you want to get into this practice, you can read about mine here.
• Have a plan for moving your body. If you are going to a gym, know before you go if it’s going to be lower body day, upper body day, cardio, total body, or mobility, etc. which will stop you from wandering around wondering what to do next which wastes time and doesn’t really do anything for you in terms of a workout. If you’re getting a walk in on your lunch break, be sure you pack a quick lunch. If you’re working out at home, figure out where your workout will be taking place and have your weights, bands, mat, etc. ready and waiting where you’ll be working.
• I know that I’m not waking up earlier than my toddler (and if I am it ain’t by much), so I set out an activity or some toys she likes the night before so she has something to keep her busy while I do an at-home workout for about 30 minutes.
• I feel like a broken record because I talk about this all the time, but planning out dinners has been life changing for me as an adult and especially as a mom. It saves time, money, and allows us to eat a lot healthier. I break down my practice in “How To Plan Your Dinners Every Week” and I will stand by this life hack until my last day on this Earth.
• I make sure we have healthy foods to eat, but I also buy pre-packaged stuff when I know it will save me time or energy.
• I spend about an hour each week prepping foods that fuel our bodies so we are less inclined to reach for junk food or processed stuff. We always have sliced cucumbers and carrots in the fridge, prepared fresh fruit, and cheese slices or sticks. Everything is readily available and easily accessible. We also usually always have protein balls on hand as a quick grab, less processed snack. I actually love having one of these before my workout for some quick fuel.
• Update the settings on your phone so all your apps turn off an hour before you plan to go to bed. Everything will go dark and basically kick you out of whatever you were doing. That is your cue to start your bedtime routine and get your butt to bed for a good night’s sleep.

Bottom line–eliminate wasting time and any excuse you might come up with not to take care of yourself, as much as possible. Y’all, before I was setting out my workout clothes on my kitchen table each night, I would literally skip a workout because I would have to go back upstairs to change clothes and that was annoying for me.

So I totally understand the level of petty that exists when you really don’t want to do something. Been there.

If you’re laughing right now you either know exactly what I’m talking about (and we should be friends), or it sounds so ridiculous that you can’t believe someone would make such an excuse. And if that’s the case, I can tell you that you should feel great about yourself because you are miles ahead of some of us here.

Make a plan. Stick to your plan. Make adjustments where you need to. But keep a plan in place.

Hitting the trifecta of wellness–movement, nutrition, and sleep–is not easy. Some days are easier than others, but it is hecka hard trying to do all three, and it does take some practice and adjusting before it just becomes your lifestyle.

I hesitate to say give yourself some grace, because for so many of us who struggle to get started or stay in it, we tend to give ourselves too much grace and that’s why we don’t stick with it. So I’ll say this instead…

You’re only human. You are beautifully and wonderfully created, but you are not perfect. Expect to get it wrong a few times. Expect to make adjustments. Expect it to be hard most days. When suddenly it feels a little easier, you probably got it right somewhere along the way so keep doing whatever it is you’re doing and the rest will fall into place.

It took me about 6 months of working my plan and routine to actually figure out what worked for me and what didn’t (You can read on the graphic below for what worked best for me and what did not).

If you can take anything from reading this, I hope you take courage. Courage to live your best life and be your best self. That’s scary as heck in this judgmental-ass world we live in.

Courage to find control in your world full of chaos. To be healthy. To be happy. To be a leader to your kids and, heck, maybe even your partner.

The fact is, only you can fix your health. No one else. It’s all on you, girl. And you can do it. If you don’t believe that, then borrow my belief in you. I believe you can make yourself a priority.

I also hope that you understand that taking care of yourself–making your own health and wellness a priority–is not selfish.

I believe it’s selfish not to make yourself a priority. It took me a long time to get to that root, but dammit now that I’m here I’ll shout it loud because this is the hill I will die on, begging women to take better care of themselves.

Did you know that about 80% of autoimmune diseases affect women? Things like arthritis, lupus, multiple sclerosis, Hashimoto’s, and Scleroderma. 40% of women in the United States will develop cancer in their lifetime. These are alarming numbers, you guys.

Now, I’m not saying that by taking care of yourself you’ll avoid any of that. I’m a millennial. I know Alanis Morrisette’s song, “Ironic” by heart to this day. I know it can happen anyway to the healthiest person on the planet. But with numbers that high, I beg you to do everything you can within your control to stay out of those statistics and to live in good health.

And if you’re a mom. Do it for your kids if you can’t do it for yourself. Live for them. Don’t die for them.

Those babies deserve to have you around for a long time and in good health. They want to run and play with you, be given piggy back rides, practice throwing the football with you, have you field grounders, teach them cartwheels, carry them to bed, reach the thing on the high shelf without straining your back, or walk up the stairs without getting winded.

It doesn’t matter if it’s been a week, a month, a year, or longer since you’ve moved your body or had a vegetable. Start today. Right now. It’s never too late to make yourself a priority.

With all the love in my heart,