This past weekend we celebrated our sweet girl turning four years old with a small party of close family at our house. We have done one each year she’s been with us and here’s everything I’ve learned to have a smooth, enjoyable experience for everyone, including YOU!

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Our sweet girl turned four years old last week. Since Christmas, all she’s been talking about is her unicorn birthday party. So, we went unicorn.

We’ve done a birthday party for her every year she’s been earth-side. For her first birthday, we rented a huge space and invited everyone we knew to celebrate with us. It was big, awesome, and overwhelming. I learned a lot that year.

Every year since, we have done it at our house and kept it smaller. But despite the size of the party, every year I learn a little bit more about the best ways to pull it off as flawlessly and stress-free as possible.

Believe it or not, whether it’s a small party or a big party, they still both need planning. The only thing that changes are numbers and costs.

Today I’m walking you through everything I’ve picked up in four years to throw a successful birthday party.

Budget is actually the least important part of this whole equation because it truly doesn’t matter if you spend tens, hundreds, or thousands. But it should always be Step 1. You need a budget no matter what so you can figure out all the other details.

You can’t plan on renting a bounce house or laser tag for the day if you can’t afford it in the first place.

For Viv’s first birthday party, we spent about $500 on the space rental, decorations, food & drinks, cake, and alcohol for the adults. I could have easily spent more because we ended up running out of food and cake.

But it was my first rodeo and, like I said, I learned a lot. The first lesson being that your budget should always match the number of guests you invite.

If you invite 100 people and you are only budgeted for $100 in food…there is a huge disconnect there. In our case, we had more people show up than we planned for. People who were invited but didn’t RSVP, people who said they weren’t coming and then did, and we didn’t do a great job of factoring in kids of people we invited, who often eat more than one piece of cake, just so you know…

We were thrilled to have so many people show up to celebrate our baby girl, but I did feel absolutely terrible that we ran out of walking tacos and birthday cake, which I didn’t even know until it was almost over or I would have run to the store down the way and grabbed some more food and cake.

So for this reason, I over-buy on food and I never feel bad for having leftovers. Even if you think everyone has RSVP’d, plan for at least a few more to show up just in case. For this reason, I always start with food and cake first.

Call it paranoid, but I never want to run out of food or cake (again) at a party I host. The only other thing I would start with first is if you are hosting at a venue that costs money to rent, and then that cost would be first and foremost because you absolutely need a space to have your party, or there is no party.

From there I go to entertainment (think bounce house, games & prizes, magician, etc…) decorations, and then if there’s anything leftover, I add in things like goodie bags or additional touches that make the party just a little extra special, that are of course within budget.

For the rest of her parties we’ve spent between $200-$350. This year was the next most expensive since her first birthday party because we added some additional decorations, a super fun themed cake, and goodie bags for the kiddos that came, which is the first year we’ve done that.

It’s always easy to spend more, but having a budget keeps the most important things front and center and then you can fill in with the rest.

My last, and maybe most important budget tip, is to always include an additional 10% in your budget for extra guests and additional costs that may come up. You’ll be glad you built it in for “just in case” and if you don’t end up using it, then it’s just money back in your pocket.

Do not wait until a couple of weeks before the party to plan. I would say that at the very least, you need to start planning at least two months in advance. I also like to send out invites a month early so people have plenty of time to plan to come, and there are certain details you must include on an invitation.

The first reason I say at least two months in advance is because sometimes it takes that long to find or book a space (if you’re going that route), particularly if you’re doing a kid destination like a trampoline park, play place, community center, water park, or adventure park, which can be booked out literally months in advance.

On a related note, we had Viv’s first birthday party at our local City Hall in one of their event rooms, and I booked it just after Christmas for her February birthday just to be safe.

This also goes for any type of rental, like a bounce house or ball pit, or entertainment, like a visit from Elsa or Bluey or a magician. Or if you are using a favorite bakery for the cake or cookies. They usually need pretty advanced notice, especially if everyone you know in town uses them for events.

Even if you are hosting at your house, give yourself some deadlines so that you are ready for the party. Do any of your main rooms need to be deep cleaned? Carpets shampooed? Any areas of your home need to be blocked off for the party? Any projects or renovations that need to be wrapped up before having the party? Outdoor spaces cleaned up? All things to consider and wrap up before party time.

Make a list with deadlines and stick to it.

You also want to plan ahead for when you are going to start the food if you are making it yourself, and when you will decorate. Do NOT leave everything for the day of the party. This is a surefire way to hate everyone and everything.

Decorate early. Like, a week early if you have to. Not only does it extend the celebration, it also allows you some breathing room in case you need to change plans, move furniture, or ditch something altogether. You do not want to be dealing with these details the day of or even the day before.

Food is another thing I try to prep as far in advance as I can, usually the day before. Anything that can be prepped ahead of time, I will prep ahead of time so that all I have to do the day of the party is take it out and put it on a plate or platter or into the oven.

There will always be things to do on the day of the party, but having done all you can beforehand leaves the day-of much less stressful. It is THE BEST feeling to be able to sit down and just wait for guests to arrive because everything is done and ready to go.

Pro tip: If possible, shower the night before so all you have to do is get dressed and do your hair/makeup if that’s your thing (it is a thing for me, and the fewer things I have to do on party day, the better).

This is something to consider if you don’t want to have the party at your home or if your guest list exceeds your home’s comfortable capacity.

There are tons of places that host children’s birthday parties. Trampoline parks, water parks, adventure parks, bowling alleys, play places, indoor playgrounds, etc. I find that while they are really fun for kids, they are also sometimes wildly expensive. If you are looking to save cost, you might consider a slightly unconventional location.

Check out community centers, city halls, or even local event spaces that are all basically empty rooms that you can usually decorate a little and comfortably fit quite a few people. Most of these spaces you can rent hourly, in 4-hour blocks, or by the day.

Whether you are hosting at a venue or your home, you should still plan early. Once you have your space chosen (and confirmed), don’t let your foot off the gas.

If you haven’t seen your space, ask for a quick tour of the room to get a true feel for the size and layout, if there’s a kitchen space for use, and if you need to provide your own tables/chairs. Most places throw those in for free.

Ask to take some pictures of the space for planning purposes unless they are available online for your reference. Do not trust your memory.

Make sure you review your contract carefully. Many places do not allow alcohol, or ask for an additional fee, for liability purposes. I did have to pay an extra nonrefundable deposit to have alcohol at the venue at Viv’s first birthday.

Also be sure you are allowed to bring in outside food. If you aren’t, it’s time to shop for a new venue, unless you plan on having everyone back to your house for food/cake.

If food is allowed, make sure you can bring your own. Some places want you to only use their approved list of caterers. Which can get expensive quickly and usually requires a minimum guest number or dollar amount to be spent. If it’s in your budget, then great! Things just got easier for you. If it’s not, you need another option.

If your place has a kitchen space for use, it’s a pretty safe bet you can bring in outside food. There’s also a good chance that you have to remove all the garbage, including the food, before you exit the space for the day.

All this to say, just make sure you understand all the rules and regulations of your event space. And do so BEFORE signing a contract.

If you have to place a deposit, be sure that it gets applied towards the final bill. If it’s a refundable deposit, make sure after the event that you were in fact refunded. Some places, especially the unconventional ones, don’t host outside events very often so they forget things like refundable deposits. Give them grace, but also don’t let them forget.

A final note on event spaces–unless you are purchasing a birthday party package, you are likely responsible for cleaning up said event space so you are not charged additional fees or to receive back your deposit.

I stayed after Viv’s first birthday party for almost 2 hours cleaning the place up and vacuuming by myself. While I actually enjoyed the quiet time from all the hoopla and chaos, if you don’t want to spend an additional 2 hours (or more) cleaning the space by yourself, recruit some friends or family a few weeks ahead of time to help you after the party so you aren’t stuck with a huge mess all to yourself.

There are basically two routes you get with food: Save time or save money.

To save time, I recommend ordering pizzas to be delivered during your party time. If you don’t mind spending a bit of time in your kitchen, you could even do a bunch of take-and-bakes to do at home. This is easiest because there are even gluten free and pasta options now in case someone you know (and trust me, you know someone) can’t have gluten or doesn’t like pizza. You could also do a big event sub sandwich, or cater from your kiddo’s favorite restaurant. This will likely be a few hundred dollars and a major hit to your budget.

To save money, gather your favorite recipes and make the food yourself. Think big and easy if this is the route you’re going. The first year we had Viv’s birthday we did Walking Tacos and, other than running out of food, it was a big hit and so easy to prepare.

For the cake, I have gone to my local grocery store every single year for a sheet cake. You can get 1/4, 1/2, or full sheet of cake for a reasonable price and most of them can be customized to fit the theme of your party (if you have one) or have tons of options specific to birthdays.

You can also choose between white, chocolate, or marble cake, and even pay extra for filling if you’d like. Cupcakes are usually the same.

If you have never been to or planned a child’s birthday party before, let me share this helpful tidbit with you: they do not CARE how fancy the cake or cupcakes are because they will likely only eat the frosting anyway. Don’t choose a chocolate ganache or a fruit filled white almond cake dusted with cocoa. You’ll overpay and the kids either won’t eat it or will take one bite and walk away.

That being said, on the frosting front I typically order whipped frosting instead of traditional or buttercream frosting because it is lighter and usually has less sugar. Whipped frosting does require refrigeration though (or it gets melty), so make sure you have the fridge space to store it.

Don’t forget ice cream to serve with the cake, unless you are serving ice cream cake. Ice cream is a nice option, again, for your gluten free friends that cannot have the cake.

I highly recommend picking up the cake the day before the party or the morning of the party. Any earlier and you risk something happening to it in your fridge. Or someone sneaking an unauthorized taste.

To date, I haven’t done any type of hired or paid entertainment. Viv’s first birthday party was in a huge room and while I do think I could have done with having some type of game or something for the older kiddos that came, Viv turned one and all she cared about was crawling around and playing with her gifts.

If you are going to hire or rent some form of entertainment, make sure you book it early so it is available for your birthday party date. Similar to a venue space, also make sure you read through the contract details before you sign anything.

If you are hosting at a venue AND doing some form of entertainment, also make sure it is allowed at your venue. Again, your contract should lay all of this out for you and if it doesn’t you need to check to make sure it’s allowed.

Depending on what you choose, fees can range for an entire weekend rental, an hour, four hours, or the duration of your party. Find out ahead of time and factor it into your budget. It could definitely eat up a major chunk.

Birthday parties have really grown to be massive events since everyone shares nothing but perfection on social media. Keep in mind that simple party games can be just as fun for kiddos, especially if you have small prizes for winners. You can do a few fun games for prizes and then either let them repeat their favorites for fun or play with your own kids’ toys inside or outside.

Kids don’t need the big, audacious amazing soiree. Adults do. Check your ego and ask yourself if it’s you that wants it or your kiddo. If it is you that wants it, that’s fine! But recognize that and don’t go broke trying to impress people. Especially if you are only trying to impress people who follow you on social media and don’t even know you in real life.

Also keep in mind that the bigger you do things, you set the expectation bar pretty high for the next birthday party. Are you going to have to continue to out-do yourself next year?

The only expectation my kiddo has for her birthday is a balloon arch. And trust me, even that feels like too much with how long it takes to assemble those suckers!

This is the area that I would spend my entire budget if it was practical. Spoiler alert: it’s not practical. People will be legit pissed if they come to your three hour long party and have no food or bevs because you blew your entire budget to make the place look great.

Seriously though, I love decorations especially for a birthday party. They are so fun and make everything feel so festive and special.

They can be seriously expensive though, especially for items that will likely end up in your trash can immediately after the party is over.

For this reason, I try to go with things that create the biggest impact for the party space. This not only saves money, but is also the most practical use of your money.

The first decoration I do every year is a balloon arch. Not only is it a ‘WOW’ factor when people see it, but my kiddo loves it too because it makes her feel special that she gets this huge piece of art just to celebrate her. It also makes a terrific background for photos, so I feel like I’m not only filling the space wisely, but also using it to create memories of who was at her party.

You can get a nice sized balloon arch kit with 140 pieces on Amazon for under $20. For it’s size, it is very reasonably priced. The thing with these is how much time they take. The one I just built for her party last weekend took me almost 3 hours to assemble and get upright. I also recruited my husband to help me get it centered and for an extra set of hands.

You can do a balloon arch for almost any theme because you can get them in every color scheme you can think of. If for some reason you can’t find what you’re looking for, all you need is the plastic strip that holds the balloons in place and you can buy the balloon colors you want and custom make your own. Each of them is basically custom anyway because you are assembling the entire thing yourself.

I do know people who have paid to have a balloon arch delivered or assembled by someone else. I personally do not build that into my budget, but, again, if it’s in your budget, then by all means go for it. A balloon arch is definitely one of those things you have to decide if you want to trade time or money for.

I’ve also been to other parties where they use cardboard or metal lighted numbers (for their age) which is such a fun and big statement piece for photos. The cardboard ones you can get on Amazon and then assemble yourself. Party rental places have metal ones that are sturdier for a small fee to use.

The other decor piece I like that makes the most impact on a space are tablecloths. These are something else that come in every single color and theme, and are fairly inexpensive (especially if you buy the vinyl or paper ones from big box stores or even dollar stores). I use them on tables, end tables, and countertops–anywhere I’m serving food.

They dress up the spaces and make them feel less like your home furniture and–big selling feature here–make clean up a breeze! No scrubbing counters or tables for this mama once the party is over. Just remove, ball up, and throw away.

There are also a couple of things I don’t buy or go overboard on.

I don’t go crazy with helium balloons. This last party, I actually got a helium tank from Target for $33, which came with balloons and filled about 25 for us, which was way more than we needed anyway.

If we would have ordered arrangements from a party store, it would have cost anywhere from $50-$150 depending on how many and the size and type of balloons. The cost of helium isn’t cheap.

But balloons are, which is why I bought my own themed unicorn ones and a giant number 4 in Viv’s favorite color from Amazon and then used the helium tank to inflate them and a few more for a couple of fun arrangements to place in our entryway and as a prop with the balloon arch.

I also don’t spend extra time or money on stuff like confetti (eew to clean up, rivals Christmas tree needles), matching serving dishes, inflatable coolers, centerpieces, yard signs, or birthday cake toppers/decor. Just because they make it for a party, does not mean you need it or even want to deal with it, and some of them are pretty expensive just to literally throw them away in a matter of minutes.

The last thing I’ll say about decorations is that if you can purchase anything that can be used for years to come, it’s an automatic win for me. I have used the same balloon weights (for helium filled balloons) every single year and store them in a modest “birthday box” where the rest of my holiday decorations are stored.

Other items that can be purchased and reused are a balloon pump (you want one of these if you are doing a balloon arch so you don’t pass out), birthday candles, extra latex balloons (also great for bringing out to play keepy uppy occasionally), “happy birthday!” banners, and “birthday girl” or “birthday boy” buttons or pins.

I consider all of those great, inexpensive investments for future parties and one less expense for the following year.

You worked hard to put this party together and get everything ready. Be sure and enjoy yourself during the actual party. Step out of the kitchen and make the rounds to say hello to all of the guests and be part of the atmosphere.

You’ll feel terrible if you didn’t get any memories of this birthday party other than being stuck in your kitchen or constantly refilling beverages and making sure food gets set out and that everyone has what they need. You are a host, but remember that if you do all the prep work and do it early, there’s no reason for you to be constantly busy during this party.

It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to babysit your guests. If they truly need something, trust that they’ll ask you for it.

Ask people to take photos with you and with other people instead of just you taking all the photos with no evidence you were even there. Have proof you didn’t just throw the party, but that you were in fact there and present.

Watch your sweet kiddo open their gifts. Actually watch. Not just bury your face in a notebook or your phone while you keep track of what they got for thank you cards. In fact, task Grandma or Auntie with that so you can watch your little darling light up when they open their presents.

My dream for every mom is to feel like they lived their child’s childhood alongside them as much as possible and didn’t watch from the sidelines or only get half of the experience.

At the risk of getting too sappy and sentimental, you only get one shot at this. They grow up so fast and pretty soon they won’t be little anymore and begging you to open their new toys because they’re so excited to sit down and play with you.

Lean in. You only have so many birthday parties to have with them. You deserve to enjoy yourself too.